Happy Thanksgiving! Long-time readers may have seen this post last year, but we’ve picked up a lot of new faces since then, so I’m going to dig it out of the archive and dust it off.
Pop quiz: what’s the difference between these two scenarios?
Well, both involve a struggle for personal survival against hordes of inhumane, groaning glassy-eyed automatons trying to push, bite and claw their way to the object of their desire.
But sadly, it’s acceptable to bring shotguns to only one of them.
Black Friday almost perfectly encapsulates the schizophrenic nature of modern American society. We spend all day Thursday giving thanks for what we have with family and friends, with most celebrants traditionally consuming a foodstuff that contains high concentrations of an amino acid which induces drowsiness.
Everybody should be pretty chill going into the weekend, right?
Less than twenty-four hours later, we’re out en masse engaging in mortal combat for cheap, non-essential creature comfort goods. Gave thanks, now let’s get to gettin’ more. It’s probably a good thing turkey is the usual main course for Thanksgiving dinner, and the tryptophan is perhaps taking the edge off of people’s aggressions, or the consumer carnage would only be intensified.
Hmmm. It’s almost like some benevolent soul had the wherewithal to somehow warn our ancestors, in order to try to mitigate at least some of the mayhem . . .